Millionària & Dio$ No$ Libre Del Dinero
Arguably the worst thing about Spanish pop going mainstream has been seeing Little Mix and Liam Payne dust f their GCSE textbooks and plea with us to bailar, por favor. Thankfully, Rosalía – flamenco/electropop star du jour – is here to show them how its done. Her latest double single sees her slip from references to Bentleys and champagne to talk burning piles cash, making her not only the saviour Latin pop but quite possibly a communist icon, too.
I Wish You Knew
No, Caggie: I wish you knew! I wish you knew just how bad Made in Chelsea got after you left, not just in the “full Sugababes” way that nearly every single original cast member has long departed, but also in the way that no one on there even lives in Chelsea nowadays. In fact, maybe you got out at just the right time, saved by your ability to make serviceable, slightly-too-glossy pop, which, ironically, would’ve sounded great soundtracking a love triangle between three people with hereditary titles.
Post Malone ft Young Thug
Now, it would be easy to make a cheap gag about the fact that Post Malone looks like one those people who got lost in the wilderness during their childhood and was raised by wild animals, or the fact that Young Thug rapping sounds like one said wild animals being Tasered, but we’re above all that. And, actually, Goodbyes is a perfectly good emo heartstring-puller that answers the question what Sam Smith would sound like if he got really, really into weed.
Flying on My Own
The world is very, very weird but – even so – if you’d said five years ago that Céline Dion would soon be a fashion favourite, swanning around in Vetements with Drake fawning over her, then the laughs may well have gone on and on. And yet, here she is, living her best life while releasing forgettable EDM “floorfillers” such as this one here. You go, girl!
Jaden Smith ft Willow
Summertime in Paris
Jaden and Willow are the musical equivalent those distant relatives you see every 10 years, whose sudden ageing (you’re 21! But you used to be 10?!) consistently confuses you. And so, Jaden, who five minutes ago was the Karate Kid, and Willow, formerly Whip My Hair fame, have made a shiny, Auto-Tuned R&B cut that is perfectly fine, but also liable to remind you the brevity your own existence.